Well, It's Official!!!

Well, my new life started last night. I say that because I didn't have to attend court, so I am not exactly sure of what time in the day my divorce was final. All I know is that I woke up this morning back on the market. It is a wierd feeling though. Yesterday I woke up and my stomach was all in knots. It was a nervous feeling. I wasn't happy nor sad though. Although there was a point last night that I almost cried. I guess it was the thought that it is actually over. I am curious to know how my ex felt about it. We both agreed on the divorce, but I wonder how he feels about it now that it is over.

These were my thoughts I wrote yesterday. . . .

I am not regretting the decision at all, but it is more of a nervous feel. I guess it is the whole, I can't believe it is really over now feel. I hope I don't throw up today.

I guess there is also the feeling of "where do I go next?" "should I stay or should I go?" "will there be anyone else for in my life?" "or am I destined to be single forever?"

Now, I know that there are positive answers for these questions, and that the future will hopefully be exciting. But you know, they are things that run through my mind.

I am hoping that by this afternoon I won't be so shaky and that I will feel relieved and such. I hope I don't take it out on my kids at school. I hope I am not sitting in a corner somewhere crying later too!!


Well, I made it through the day!! I didn't really cry. I was sad a little bit, but everyone was nice to me. I woke up this morning because my mom sent me a text message "are you single?" and I said, "as far as I know!" So, here I am. . . alive and single. I made it through it. I am sad that it didn't work out, but I realize I have a whole life ahead of me to enjoy!! I can do whatever I want now. I don't have to answer or go home and ask someone if it is ok that I do something. I think I might seriously look into grad school and try to persue a job in public relations or something. Who knows...maybe I will get a really great teaching job somewhere!! All I know is that I amm ready to see where life takes me now!!!!!!!!!!!!

8 days and counting. . . .

Well, I just looked at the calendar and I have realized that in 8 days I will be a single woman again. I can't believe it is almost here. I have been looking forward to this day for awhile, which is sad, but I am ready to start my new life. I have plans with some friends I used to work with to pre-celebrate Thursday night for dinner at Chili's. I'll be celebrating with a few margaritas!! Hopefully that weekend I won't be so down in the dumps and that I will have things to keep me busy, which I am sure I will. My friend Karen, who I stay with, I am sure will keep me busy. I still have gift cards from Christmas I could go use. I would really like to have my girls with me though this weekend. I may have to give them a call to see what they are all up to. The only problem is, is that they are spread out amongst several states. One's in Colorado, one's in Arkansas and one is in Lousiana. :( It's said, but hopefully we can all be together again soon.

Well, we'll see how things go next week. That day is going to be really busy. It's a divorce, payday, and reading day at school all in one day!!!!! Hopefully I will be able to keep my sanity!!!!

Until then.....